Reaching the Summit

I have been terrible at keeping up with our blog lately....things have just been such a whirlwind that it has been near impossible to fathom sitting still for any length of time and attempting to form any kind of coherent thoughts. It sill may not be possible...haha so please bear with me.

We have been home since Jan. 19th 2014...

And I have come to the conclusion that I will FOREVER be awe struck at what the Lord has done. Can I just say before I delve into the details of the last couple of weeks that people are PHENOMENAL. We have had friends and family literally bend over backwards wanting to help us from bringing us meals, offering to babysit, grocery shop for us, and most importantly praying for our family. For everyone who has helped us in ANY way....let me say from the very depths of our souls....THANK YOU!! Often times when people come over I am busy, flustered, rushing around and barely have time to say hello...but please know how very much your love and support has carried us through these first couple weeks. You are ALL such blessings....and it does not escape us for a single moment how amazingly blessed we are. If I could personally hug each and every one of you I would!! It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of how many people have come our aide during this process.....no words...simply no words....

When we first arrived home we all felt instantaneously overwhelmed. Okay, we expected that....but the moment we walked in our front door we had that "well, what do we do now?" feeling. The last few months had been so constant...we always knew where we were going, what we were doing, why we were doing it, and what the end result should be. But all of a sudden we were faced with the sheer reality of adoption.... the up close and personal view of the pure upheaval of our former lives.

NOTHING was the same.

Sure. We knew everything would change. But in a way we mourned the disappearance of our former lives...the happy little family of four...things were SO easy before. But in the midst of this unexpected sadness we equally felt overwhelming joy. We made it! They are home....our boys are home!! It didn't take us long before the "joy" aspect of our emotions took over the feelings of loss and sadness. THIS was God's plan...and how beautiful it was!

That first night home as I tucked all FOUR of my precious children in bed I remember saying under my breathe, " Thank you Lord..." over and over....kissing the foreheads of my sweet girls whom I had missed indescribably for the past 7 weeks and tucking my boys into the beds that had been empty for the past year...now full with the ones the Lord had set aside for our family. I was awe struck...

The moments of difficulty became apparent the next morning....

Narkeez screamed...constantly. It is truly difficult to describe how relentlessly he screamed. He could not go twenty seconds without screaming to use the bathroom, eat, or listen to music. It was truly a minor issue; but enduring the constant screaming became impossibly frustrating. Our girls would escape to their room or the playroom and close the door but Asa and I sat and endured it....and I am so glad we did. It was hard but we knew it was the Lord breaking our boy free and peeling away the layers of fear and washing away the years of trauma. He had NEVER been able to make requests. He had never had a Mother to lovingly fix him a meal, take him to the bathroom when he needed to go, sing him a song when his heart yearned for comfort, praise him when he did good, or wipe away his tears.....and he NEEDED to test those boundaries. He NEEDED us to be there, to not show our frustration, and to just love him...and we did. We STILL do...because even though he has improved greatly he will still constantly ask for something. BUT, our communication is a lot better now and we know how to help our dear boy cope and what makes him feel better.

Aidan has, quite honestly, been unexpectedly easy from day one. He did not give us an ounce of trouble until about two weeks ago when he developed the new habit of constantly undressing himself and engaging in fecal smearing...yeah, NOT a pleasant topic...but it's reality. We have momentarily combated this issue with backwards sleepers, onesies, and overalls....so it's manageable. But progress with Aidan has been very slow. Don't get me wrong; he is definitely making WONDERFUL progress ...but it's not a "quick fix" or a "love cures all" type of situation. Abuse and neglect is permanently imprinted on our dear one and while he will make great strides...we will always have a child who comes from a traumatic past. He has a LOT of sensory issues. Small things like clothing tags, strange textures, temperatures, & sounds...it ALL effects him and we have to allow him to stay in his room by himself a LOT. For now, his bedroom is his comfort zone...his safe haven. Of course we are working towards integrating him in to being with the family 100% of the time; but for now he just can't handle it.

But we have FINALLY reached the summit...

This time next year "the summit" will look much different than it does today. But we are praising God for where we are right now! They have come so far.....

Narkeez is speaking SO much more. He is telling us about his likes and dislikes and he has learned to actively engage in play with his siblings. Toys are still a bit of a mystery to him but just this morning we caught him appropriately playing with one of his action figures...which is huge progress! And his English is phenomenal! He is in school already and LOVING it!

Aidan has learned how to clap when we ask him to and is learning how to feed and dress himself. He will feel around the room until he finds me and will crawl up in my lap for snuggles. If he drops a toy he will try to find it again...something he NEVER did before!

"He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." Psalm 40:2

We are in a good place. 

And while we are currently overwhelmed with more doctors appointments than will fit on my calendar; we know this is all part of the healing process.....

But in the six weeks since we have been home our Aidan has gone from this.... 

To this! Can you see the difference?? After only 6 weeks of love....

And we were told that Narkeez would never be able to be in a classroom with other children and be able to learn. They said he was not capable of comprehending....

WRONG! This is our dear boy at school....learning, growing, and forming friendships....

Look what the Lord has done...