Almost there...

Just when I think I can relax for a bit and take a break my mind starts making more lists...

Sometimes I feel like everything is set and ready to go and then two seconds later I remember of yet ANOTHER task that has been forgotten or neglected for a little bit too long....

I keep telling myself to relax...that two weeks is PLENTY of time to get things in order. But the control freak in me won't allow me to just "be at ease". My family is all too aware of my over controlling tendencies and know that they can expect a detailed list of every food each of my girls likes along with a detailed schedule of their normal day...will they "need" this? Probably not and I know that they are more than capable of taking care of my babies....but it makes me feel better so I do it.

I have organized the girls closet to hopefully ease the chaotic clothing situation that seems to constantly plague our household. We have re-organized our kitchen to help ease chaos (and because when we get home that will be the LAST thing I want to do) and found people to take care of our pets while we away so that is one less burden on our dear family.

But we are blessed....SO blessed. It is no small request to ask the grandparents to watch our girls for the duration of our absence. They will have to completely re-arrange their lives for a few months....all while enduring tantrums, early mornings, middle of the night glasses of water, and playing chauffeur without the luxury of being able to "give them back " when they are exhausted at the end of a long day. There are simply no words that can possibly express how grateful we are to have them in our lives and we never, not even for a moment, take that for granted. They are simply amazing....and it is the biggest blessing imaginable to be able to go on this journey knowing that they are being well cared for and loved in our absence.

My mind often wanders to the after math of this adoption as well...imagining the chaotic upheaval and destruction of the lives we use to know. We know that we are in the Lords will; so it will be a beautiful and joyous "destruction"....but to think for even a second that things will be the same would be a flat out lie. This adoption is going change EVERYTHING. There will be moments when we will wonder what on earth we have done, cry many tears, endure countless sleepless nights and long hospital stays to help our boys heal from the years of abuse and neglect...It will take a lot to help our precious girls adjust to their new brothers; to ensure that they still have Mommy and Daddy and that we love them immeasurably despite the chaos that will be surrounding us for a while.

I still wonder if we are equipped enough to handle these two precious ones....

But then I remember God's promise....and I know that He will equip us in every sense necessary.

Please keep our family in your prayers in the coming weeks as we prepare to travel far far away and to meet these two precious boys....our sons!!! Please pray for our girls while we are away and that they may be comforted covered by His love and mercy.