Saturday, December 29, 2012

Are you crazy??!

Okay; so I have blogged about this before... but over the holidays we have come to realize that a vast majority of close family/friends are more worried/concerned about us adopting than they are happy and supportive.

Over the last week we have had a few questions thrown at us by friends and, I thought I would answer them the best I can. PLEASE don't think for a moment that we are in any way upset or bothered by the questioning because they are ALL legitimate concerns that any loving family member or friend would have. We get it... and we would never let these questions hurt or anger us in any way.

" Are you crazy? Why would you adopt now? Why don't you wait till you are older and your children don't need so much?"

-Crazy; definitely not...just in love with an amazing little boy that God is calling us to add to our family. Why adopt now?...because, to us, waiting is selfish. Aiden can't wait. He can't wait for his Mommy and Daddy to bring him home; waiting five years (almost six) is long enough for him. The odds are not in his favor. With each passing year his chances of finding a family dwindle. HE is the child that God has called us to adopt; we have prayed unceasingly for Aiden and we know without an ounce of doubt that he is meant to be our son DESPITE his special needs. We also don't understand why our age is a concern at all; waiting till we are older won't make a bit of difference. Yes, we ARE young. But at the age of 25 and 26 we have been married for six years, have two gorgeous girls, are financially stable, and are well educated. We are by no means perfect...but in the end the only one we need to worry about pleasing is our God in heaven. We aren't worried; God has it under control.

"How are you going to deal with him!? Do you really think that the two of you can handle a child who can't see on top of the needs of your girls?"

- Theoretically; if I were pregnant with our third child, gave birth, and the baby was blind NO ONE would be questioning us. But because we are CHOOSING a child, who by society standards, is not perfectly healthy everyone thinks we are a little off our rocker. We will "deal" with him in the same manor we deal with our girls...we will love him without question, teach him right from wrong, punish him when he does wrong, praise him for his accomplishments, be patient and teach him about a God who loves him regardless! No doubt he will need special attention, therapy, and guidance but we are FULLY prepared to offer him that. There will be horribly difficult days and there will be wonderfully joyous days...but we will get through it. I am a stay at home mornings, days and nights are dedicated to being the VERY best mom and wife that I can be. I can devote my full attention to all three of my children. So for those who see us as ignorant or ill informed about the extent of his needs...please know we are not. We are researching, seeking guidance, taking classes, and teaching our daughters about how life with Aiden is going to change things.

"Does he even have his own room? Your house is far too small to accommodate a third child; especially a child with as many needs as Aiden."

- This requires no lengthy answer because it is simply is not true. Aiden will indeed have his own room, his own bathroom, his own closet, his own bed, and his own space in general. True; our house is small but we have enough bedrooms for all of our children (it's a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath). Aidens room is downstairs where he is not going to be at risk of falling down stairs or not being able to find what he needs. We will, of course, have a video monitor set up for a while to ensure his safety.

" Why not adopt from the United States? There are so many children here who need loving homes."

- Our God has a heart for the "least of these"...there are indeed many wonderful children here in the United States waiting for a home, however, God calls us ALL to different all corners of the world. For us,  it is Eastern Europe and to Aiden. This is the journey that God has laid before US and we know many others who's calling is very different; but isn't that the way it's suppose to be? Adoption; no matter the corner of the globe, is a calling from our God in heaven and we trust in him fully to lead, guide, and direct us in the path that HE would have us take.

    We just love him; plain and he is...for what he is...a PERFECT child of God!


  1. Hi,

    I came to your blog from RR. I support you 100% and am looking forward to following your journey! Aiden has certainly found a very special family. God bless you!

    Sue - Wisconsin

  2. Congrats on finding your beautiful son! I am just one of many people who have been praying for Aiden and I am so glad you are working towards bringing him home.

  3. Praying for you on your journey to your son. Aiden has been on my heart for a long time and I'm so happy to know his family has found him.

  4. I'm so happy that you have chosen to adopt Aiden! I have been praying for his family for some time now and I'm sure that in spite of the possible difficulties he is a wonderful little boy. My husband is blind too, I have chosen to marry him, and I can see no fault or difference in him as a person or as a soul as compared to anyone else. He was born almost blind, and had entirely lost his sight by the age of 20. Otherwise he is an exceptionally talented man with an above average perception of the world and its happenings. Speaks several languages, has 3 diplomas (one is jazz piano) and one can ask him about any event in history, he loves to learn. I'm sure that Aiden also has a lot of potential, and I'm grieving for his five years waisted in the orphanage. I'm praying for his healing. Perhaps music (or musical education) would help him too, once home.
    Last year we were also trying to adopt internationally (also a special needs little boy), but we encountered bureaucratic difficulties (we lived in Germany at the time), and had to back out. At the time many of our friends and relatives said the same as yours, that we should reconsider or wait, or should not do it at all, and so forth... However we felt assured in our hearts, and stepped forward to start the process. I think the calling you are feeling is more important than anything else, or anyone's private opinion about your decision. I for one, think it is a wonderful choice and deed. And also, you are choosing and giving a life and love for Aiden, practically rescuing him, what can be more important and honorable than that?

    Greetings and prayers from Hungary,


  5. Congrats on your adoption. I often check RR to see the new families. We are also adopting a boy that is 5 (6 in July). Some of the reactions we have got have surprised us! The only explanation we can give is that this is a matter of the heart! Good luck!

    1. Thank you!!! Yes, Aiden will be six in May! That exactly what we tell people; I honestly don't think that people understand the urgency of these children finding homes. Many family members we have spoken to genuinely had no clue that there were children in other countries in that much need. We use Aidens story as a means to educate because knowing changes everything!

  6. So happy for you and your family! Hope you get to bring that sweet boy home very soon. We just brought our four year old daughter home from Russia on Nov 1, 2012. We encountered the same kind of questions. Are you crazy? Why not America? No, we are not crazy we our just living our lives with an eternal perspective in mind, seeking God's will and loving His children no matter where they were born. Our little girl has brought us so much joy and I know Aiden will bring you the same. There is abundant joy in obedience to the Lord. May God Bless and keep your family throughout this adoption journey.

  7. I'm so happy for your family and Aiden! We started our adoption for 2 children with special needs from Ukraine when we had been married for less than a year and I was 22. Now, we've adopted 3 kids with special needs and I'm 25. People will always find objections, but we chose to trust God.