heartbroken

Sad news...

We are absolutely heart broken and struggling to find Gods perfect plan in all this.

It is with a VERY heavy heart I have to tell you all that we will not be adopting Nash. 

Just typing those words floods my eyes with tears and pains my heart; I can't even breathe. It was a recent realization that came on rather suddenly....I can't, emotionally, go too in depth at the moment. I am still very much in conference with Lord over this situation...I need clarity, peace, and understanding. 

But to be as brief as possible...due to some minor problems with our
paperwork ( at NO fault of the RR team; if anything I blame myself...the RR
team has been phenomenal in catching all mistakes and guiding us through this process ),
my husbands ability to be out of work, our reliance on childcare, and just a severe time crunch
(among some other personal matters) it is just not possible for us to adopt Nash. 

I know most of you are baffled and wondering "why?!"...I promise I will
explain more in time....but for now....I just can't. 
I do PROMISE you we have looked into every possible option to work our 
way around this and as much as it hurts; we know the Lord has spoken. 

At this point we aren't sure what this means. We know that we will still be 

adopting Aiden and things are going forward in that area. 

As far as if we will take a second child or not...

it's complicated. We have prayed over it and unless
the Lord tells us differently between now and our time
of travel...I think we are just going to focus on Aiden. His needs are great
and he would very much benefit from the added focus. 

Right now; we need healing. I feel as though I have failed "Nash"....

It's as if I have ripped away this great possibility for this darling boy; logically
I know that it can't be helped and that these are the cards
God has dealt us....but dear Lord; it HURTS. 

This boy has so much potential!! Dear heavenly Father
PLEASE find Nash the loving home
he deserves!! 

I know that MY plans are not always Gods plans and in the end we
are so very blessed that we are even able to adopt.

In the midst of confusion and heartache
we would just like to ask for
prayers of healing. We know that
this is for the best for our whole
 family...but it doesn't make
it any easier.

In the end the world will still be minus one orphan and
that will be a victory worth celebrating!