I HATE money!

I have come to a conclusion....

I HATE money...

I hate how it controls nearly every aspect of our lives. We need it for food, shelter, transportation, medicine...EVERYTHING! It even determines what status of hierarchy you are in society. Will you be able to take three vacations this year or will you have to rent a DVD and pop some popcorn for your "time off" instead? Let me just say 99.9% of the time we are the ones doing the later...

And in our boys case $ is the ONLY thing keeping them stuck in an institution. I have never wished for wealth or to have my bank account overflow....we do alright. We can pay our bills, own our own home, can put food on the table, and put some in savings every month. So as a whole we are already doing better than 90% of the world and for that we TRULY grateful...but in the past year (since we starting this adoption process) I feel like almost all we have done is stress and obsess over money and how on earth we are going to get enough to pay our boys ransom. (Granted we have also grown closer to God and meshed together as family more than we ever could have dreamed possible too...so it's definitely not all bad...)

It's been a constant whirlwind of setting up fundraisers, skimping on everything, selling our possessions, applying for grants and loans (most of which we don't qualify for), and spending hours literally on bended knee begging God for an answer....

But God has provided...EVERY cent thus far has come from our God in heaven and the generosity of others....

But we are reaching the end....we are MONTHS away from traveling and we are still roughly $13,000 short. I have a constant lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach wondering where this money is going to come from...

I have faith...but I am also human...and it's scary.

I have seen the abuse our boys have endured (still are) and I have probably cried more this past year than in the 26 years before...

Adoption is HARD....

Adoption is not for the faint of heart...

Adoption tests your faith in extreme and what often seems like cruel ways...

I think sometimes we are suppose to walk blindly; to walk by FAITH....

So that is what we are doing....walking on...

by faith...

Because while the world tells us every impossibility; the Lord tells us every POSSIBILITY...

Please keep our family in your prayers; please pray that the Lord sheds light on a way to get our boys ransom....I truly feel as though we have done all we can and now it simply HAS to rest in His hands.

If you feel led you can make a tax deductible donation at: 

http://reecesrainbow.org/51404/sponsorkillen